Clothing Demons

I'm going to tell you two significant truths that nobody told me: a child increases the dirty laundry in your life by 300%, and working in clothing retail will decrease your desire to do your laundry by 1000%.
So at this time in my life, the likelihood of me doing any laundry is at -700%. That number doesn't take into account the emotional energy it requires to start the task, or my precious time. OR my looming depression.
Cook dinner? Gladly!
Clean the bathroom? I'm your girl.
Dishes? Way ahead of you.
But between a toddler that loves to "cook" and my aversion to laundry... the pile of loved clothing has adopted a personality. A personality that I don't get along with. It taunts me by tripping me in my most rushed moments. It swallows my favorite clothing pieces. It laughs when I try to find one out of ten pair of black leggings, and then cackles when I take a sniff and the leggings are exponentially more potent than they possibly could have been when I wore…

My Worries, Doubts, and Fears.

It's starting to become more and more real for me. My baby girl is due in 14 weeks, and I'm just trying to figure out where the last 26 weeks went! I have fuzzy memories of going to the toilet over and over again when my angel rejected food. Memories of picking through garbage bags of maternity clothes and crying to myself because I wasn't ready to swell up like a balloon. And sitting in counseling sessions, learning how to let my worries, my doubts, and my fears show so that I could work through them and progress. Now, I only have 3 months left. Now, I have to find an apartment, buy a car, get at least a full-time job, and continue with the summer semester.
    I feel like this pregnancy hit me in two shockwaves. Yes, shockwaves. Literally two waves of shock. The first wave was shortly after I realized I was pregnant and my mind raced thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong and everything that had to be done. I was hit with stress, fear, guilt, worry, lone…

I'd Rather Be Flat

First, if you are either

A male without older sistersAn unmarried male, orSomeone that is offended by blatant opinion,     just don't read this post. I mean, you can still read if you want, just remember that this is MY blog and I don't control YOUR eyes.      Now that I've said that....
               HOLY CRAP I HATE BOOBS.     Seriously. I hate them so much, here's a poem:

          Beautiful lumps of fat and nerves           Only useful for being milked like a cow           Painful and sore whenever they want to be           Can I just get them chopped off now?
          Swoobs are a pain for the well-endowed           Sports bras are impossible to shop for           Why men are fascinated, I will never understand           I just want to be a B. Nothing more.

    Now that you all think I'm crazy and slightly obsessed about hating boobs (you're not wrong), let me explain my personal history.     When I was a freshman in high school, I was a cheerleader. …

Help I've Been Body-Snatched

What is happening to me?! My hips are wider, my back is breaking, my skin is temperamental, my gums are bleeding, my legs are cramping, and my bra cup size has doubled! DOUBLED! And this is all so sudden!
     I was expecting that pregnancy would include some weeks of sickness, then some weight gain, and gradually the other unpleasantness would build. But so far, from what I've heard of pregnancy, this is kinda weird. All of the sudden, 5 months in, I'm finally looking and feeling pregnant. I was sick for several weeks, yes. VERY sick in fact. I was taking Zofran, which is prescribed for chemotherapy patients to help them keep food down. Once the morning sickness calmed down, I stopped taking the medication and immediately lost my appetite. Yes, that's bizarre. I should have been craving everything under the sun, and I struggled to eat just a cracker. I had to physically open and close my mouth with my hands! I had lost weight. Which is even more bizarre. After some r…

Why Am I Still On Tinder?

I'm very very single. And that's okay! I mean, it would be nice to have somebody of course, but it's not ever necessary. I'm in a strange position in life right now. I'm turning 20 this year, I'm having a baby in the fall, I'm working 3 jobs, I'm doing a summer semester at UVU in May, and I'm single. This whole picture would make a little more sense if there was a man, but when has life ever really made sense? Never. So I'm just going with it!

When I first found out I was pregnant, I swore off dating for the next 4 years. I figured nobody would be interested in a pregnant Mormon girl that lived with their mom (no offense mom). So, some Tindering wouldn't hurt, right? Why not check out some hotties (and unfortunately some not-so-hotties) while I grow a cute baby? I wouldn't meet with any of them. Maybe have some friendly conversation when I'm bored. I just want people to talk to! I'm not looking to date anybody in my current state …

Things I Love

1. Salted Caramel shakes from Arby's
2. Twilight Princess
3. Playing with sand crabs
4. Leather pants
5. Stained glass windows
6. Forests
7. Bus drivers
8. Accents
9. Art history
10. Watermelon
11. Fuzzy socks
12. Paintball guns
13. Itty-bitty baby piggies!
14. Hand-crocheted sweaters
15. Olive Oil
16. Movie previews
17. Foot massages
18. White bread
19. Christmas lights
20. Twix, snickers, reeses, and kit-kats
21. Stand-up comedy
22. Zombie novels
23. Star Wars: Episode 5 - The Empire Strikes Back
24. Taco Bell happy hour
25. Road trips
26. Writing letters
27. Stuffed Animals
28. Otters
29. Online guitar tabs
30. Tangled
31. Helium
32. Long boards
33. Puppies
34. Homemade maple syrup
35. Sudoku
36. Fog
37. Brooms
38. Frank Sinatra
39. Wedding television shows
40. Lined paper
41. Hot-N-Ready pizza
42. Trucks
43. Frozen grapes
44. Space heaters
45. Old movies
46. Massive rain storms
47. Familiar smells
48. Dancing
49. Water
50. Netlifx
51. Camping
52. Freshly-mown grass
53. Salt an…

To Starve, Or Not To Starve.

To starve, or not to starve-- that is the question: Whether 'tis more beneficial to suffer The pains and agony of outrageous hunger Or to take my wallet to the land of food And by spending go broke. To starve, to nap-- No more-- and by a nap to say we end The hunger, and the thousand thoughts of cheesecake That girls are drawn to. 'Tis consumption Devoutly to be wished. To starve, to nap-- To nap-- perchance to dream: ay, there's the point, For in that nap of hunger what dreams may come Of delicious morsels, evasive.


Grocery shopping at BYUI is an obnoxious business when you don't have a car. Campus is at the top of the hill, and everything else you could ever need or want is at the bottom of the hill. My glutes are unhappy just walking to class! And then when you DO finally get to the store and purchase all of your food with your precious money, you have to carry it all back.
David and I went to the store and took a backpack each, not anticipating we would ne…