Tuesday, October 8, 2013

I Am The Queen of Canned Food

Free food is the nectar of the gods. Events that have free food are always better attended. If you give out free food, you make an infinite number of new friends. Free food is what we live for, breathe for, die for. Well, hopefully not die, but you get the point. If you want to survive in college, develop an affinity for the smell of free food. 

Growing up, I always heard about college being this place where you were either super nerdy and always studied or extremely outgoing and partied all the time. It was a place where cliques ruled supreme and hot guys had nice cars. As my understanding progressed, I realized that the students are stressed and poor and eat ramen every night. As I started preparing for college myself, I was absolutely determined to eat healthily and keep to a well-rounded diet. ha. NOPE.
I am the Queen of Canned Food.
Before I came to school, I raided my grandmother's pantry and took a big chunk of her food storage. Thank heaven for Mormon food storage! I got everything from pancake mix to canned pears to pickles to raisins. I stowed it away in my trunk, thinking it would mostly end up in some dark corner and just stay there until the snow hit. Knowing me, as soon as the snow hits, I'm gonna lose all ambition and lay in bed doing homework until the groundhog climbs out of his hole. With this predetermined knowledge of myself and my goal to eat healthily, I arrived at my apartment and shoved all of the jars and cans into the furthest nooks and crannies I could find. It was my own personal food storage, to be consumed when the snow was too much to bear. 
I did really well the first 2 weeks! I ate things like apples and cottage cheese and bagels and salads. I was getting all of the nutrients I needed and I didn't have to ever touch my precious food storage. But something happens to a college student when they get used to their new life. They. Eat. Everything. It doesn't even matter what it is, who's giving it to you, what flavor it is, as long as it's there. It's like we're starving all the time, and yet, we're really not! We just don't want to touch our food storage. But, alas... I have begun depreciating my food storage. 
Now I open a can of sliced peaches, eat the whole thing in 1 minute flat, and I could swear they're the best peaches in the world. Chili and chicken noodle soup get me through the day and tuna with a little lemon pepper is a delicacy. I'm a beast with that can opener, too! I whip that thing around so fast, those poor little green beans don't even know what hit 'em. Next thing ya know, they're in my mouth. 
If I was a picky eater, I would have died already. And my canned applesauce wouldn't be nearly finished. I've reached this mental state where I don't even care what I'm eating as long as it's edible, not past the expiration date by more than a week, and easy enough to let me get back to doing my homework without allowing me to lose my drive in the 2 minutes it takes to heat a can of tomato soup. I've turned into the stereotypical college kid, eating over-processed fruit out of tin cans and LIKING IT. Again, thank heaven for Mormon food storage. I will survive.

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