To Starve, Or Not To Starve.

To starve, or not to starve-- that is the question:
Whether 'tis more beneficial to suffer
The pains and agony of outrageous hunger
Or to take my wallet to the land of food
And by spending go broke. To starve, to nap--
No more-- and by a nap to say we end
The hunger, and the thousand thoughts of cheesecake
That girls are drawn to. 'Tis consumption
Devoutly to be wished. To starve, to nap--
To nap-- perchance to dream: ay, there's the point,
For in that nap of hunger what dreams may come
Of delicious morsels, evasive.


Grocery shopping at BYUI is an obnoxious business when you don't have a car. Campus is at the top of the hill, and everything else you could ever need or want is at the bottom of the hill. My glutes are unhappy just walking to class! And then when you DO finally get to the store and purchase all of your food with your precious money, you have to carry it all back.
David and I went to the store and took a backpack each, not anticipating we would need more space than that. Well, of course we were wrong. We ended up typing grocery bags to the straps of the backpacks, trekking up the hill like pack-horses. Never again. I'd rather eat tuna for a week than make that trip again.
Every once in a while, my roommate drives to the store and is kind enough to take me. Ironically, those are the days when I really don't need anything. I just can't win when it comes to grocery shopping here! So, I decided to basically make a bet with myself to see how long I could go without grocery shopping.
Last week I didn't eat much more than random beans, canned peaches, and the rest of my cheese on whatever else I could find. I finished my case of ramen, I didn't have any milk, eggs, or bread. BUT. I SURVIVED.
Now, I have my car back and I can shop with ease. For some reason though, the starving student mentality hasn't left and I can't bring myself to make a sandwich or bake a cake. I'm sitting here eating tuna from the can and actually liking it. Like, what is my life now? This tuna is delicious. It's as if I've been thrown into an alternate life where I'm the youngest of 14 children and I've always had to fight for my food, and then preserve it so I could stay fed until the next gladiatorial meal.
Will this preservative mentality pass? Maybe. Do I want it to? No! I have saved quite a bit of money and time by making something from nothing and learning to be content with less than the bare minimum. And at the same time, I'm steering clear of that dreaded Freshman 15. Or 40. Whatever you'd like to aim for.
My point is, conserving resources and self-deprivation are not the same thing. I started out thinking I was starving myself, but soon realized that I was perfectly fed! Maybe not healthily, and my diet certainly wasn't rounded, but I wasn't starving. I wasn't depriving myself, I was being conservative, imaginative, and content with what I had.
This tuna, though.


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