Showing posts from May, 2014

My Worries, Doubts, and Fears.

It's starting to become more and more real for me. My baby girl is due in 14 weeks, and I'm just trying to figure out where the last 26 weeks went! I have fuzzy memories of going to the toilet over and over again when my angel rejected food. Memories of picking through garbage bags of maternity clothes and crying to myself because I wasn't ready to swell up like a balloon. And sitting in counseling sessions, learning how to let my worries, my doubts, and my fears show so that I could work through them and progress. Now, I only have 3 months left. Now, I have to find an apartment, buy a car, get at least a full-time job, and continue with the summer semester.
    I feel like this pregnancy hit me in two shockwaves. Yes, shockwaves. Literally two waves of shock. The first wave was shortly after I realized I was pregnant and my mind raced thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong and everything that had to be done. I was hit with stress, fear, guilt, worry, lone…

I'd Rather Be Flat

First, if you are either

A male without older sistersAn unmarried male, orSomeone that is offended by blatant opinion,     just don't read this post. I mean, you can still read if you want, just remember that this is MY blog and I don't control YOUR eyes.      Now that I've said that....
               HOLY CRAP I HATE BOOBS.     Seriously. I hate them so much, here's a poem:

          Beautiful lumps of fat and nerves           Only useful for being milked like a cow           Painful and sore whenever they want to be           Can I just get them chopped off now?
          Swoobs are a pain for the well-endowed           Sports bras are impossible to shop for           Why men are fascinated, I will never understand           I just want to be a B. Nothing more.

    Now that you all think I'm crazy and slightly obsessed about hating boobs (you're not wrong), let me explain my personal history.     When I was a freshman in high school, I was a cheerleader. …

Help I've Been Body-Snatched

What is happening to me?! My hips are wider, my back is breaking, my skin is temperamental, my gums are bleeding, my legs are cramping, and my bra cup size has doubled! DOUBLED! And this is all so sudden!
     I was expecting that pregnancy would include some weeks of sickness, then some weight gain, and gradually the other unpleasantness would build. But so far, from what I've heard of pregnancy, this is kinda weird. All of the sudden, 5 months in, I'm finally looking and feeling pregnant. I was sick for several weeks, yes. VERY sick in fact. I was taking Zofran, which is prescribed for chemotherapy patients to help them keep food down. Once the morning sickness calmed down, I stopped taking the medication and immediately lost my appetite. Yes, that's bizarre. I should have been craving everything under the sun, and I struggled to eat just a cracker. I had to physically open and close my mouth with my hands! I had lost weight. Which is even more bizarre. After some r…